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It's Okay, Mama

May 3, 2019

 

In one of my most sleep-deprived moments, I remember casually replying to my five-year-old saying “it’s okay” when asked if Pinkie Pie lived in Malaysia. I obviously did not listen to her question, was half asleep, or guiltily wasn't too bothered, God knows. But I laughed it off anyway, chalking it up to ‘mom-brain’, just like with all other things. And then I realized too, how it’s almost second nature to tell our kids “it’s okay” or anything along those lines, with a goal of comforting them. And perhaps occasionally to pause the classic preschooler-incessant-chatter at our own convenience (again, guilty).

 

“It’s okay.”

 

“Good job.”

 

“You did well!”

 

But how often do we tell OURselves “it’s okay”? I do know that the things I tell myself at times (or MOST times) aren’t exactly “comforting”. And it’s easy to not remember to, when we’re so busy attempting to give our all to our kids or to our own ideals of being “good parents”. So much so, that when our self-defined “our all” isn’t achieved, we easily come to the conclusion that we’re “bad moms”.

 

Like that time when all we have left on the dining table at the end of the day was a cold mug of coffee instead of a six-course-meal for the family we believe society expects us to prepare. Well, instead of concluding ourselves as “bad moms”, we probably could rephrase the labels we give ourselves with a half-asleep “it’s okay” instead. The same way we so naturally would have with our kids, like it’s second nature. And it probably really IS okay, we have dealt with a screaming teething baby, Coco Pops spilling on the floor, Baby Shark on loop, and a regressing toddler all day - now who would have their sanity intact for a six-course-meal? In fact, here are really what you should tell yourself with that cold mug of coffee at the end of the day, and tomorrow, and every other day:

 

“It’s okay.”

 

“Good job.”

 

“You did well!” (No really, you did.)